I started back to Massage Therapy School on July 9, 2007.  I was not sure this would ever happen.  Of course, I was in a different place mentally & physically but wanted to TRY.  It was 4 nights/week & occasional clinic on the weekends.  I didn’t want to “wonder” … had I not gone back.  After all, I completed my Anatomy Coloring Book while doing chemo the previous year.  I couldn’t let all that coloring go to waste!

My follow-up appts showed good blood counts & everything within normal range.  Another successful MRI with sedation & all continues to move in the right direction.  Ahhhh

My follow-up appts reflected all is normal … even the spot on my liver … as expected, a hemangioma. Another successful closed MRI.  Thank goodness, I can breathe again!

After having time to process the news of the NEW Mass on my liver, I am doing much better mentally.  I realized that I didn’t anticipate having something like this to deal with so soon.  I thought I would get a BREAK for a year or so.  But I guess that is not the case or meant to be.  My real worry came with my leave situation at work.  I am in the hole with sick leave.  My mind was all over the place thinking of what I may have to go thru in January 2007 & how much time I would need to be off again.  This is the reason I was so upset & down.  If the rest of the year goes as planned, I will be out of the hole with my leave in January.  I am hopeful to have 2007 to build my leave balances again.  But regardless of the outcome, everything will work out … it always does.

To handle everything, I am coping/dealing/thinking about things in COMPARTMENTS.  In other words, allowing myself a certain amount of time to THINK ABOUT the Issue, then “putting it away” and moving on to the next task.  This method has worked for me in the past year & I plan to continue doing it.  This is the only way I can cope right now.  And why I can only handle the current day/week at a time.  It’s too hard to think in the long term.

My follow-up appts reflected my counts were all good & within normal ranges.  My lungs are clear, etc … However, it was discovered I have a small mass on my liver that was not there 3 months ago.  The Dr wants to wait & see how it looks in January when I go again.  He is thinking it’s a hemangioma, like the other spots on my liver.  He said he is 95% sure.  He told me not to be SCARED, just Yet.  Easy for him to say.  I am trying to keep my spirits UP but it’s hard as I feel very burdened again.