I have shared a lot of the physical aspects of my illness but not the mental or emotional stuff. Since my last chemo treatment in July, I have struggled with “moving on”. When I reflect on the last year, a lot of questions remain unanswered. Why was I spared? Will the cancer return, when & where? What is next for me in terms of living? How do I get back to “normal”, etc.
I think I had a break thru last week. I purchased & read the Lance Armstrong book. It really helped me. I was having a hard time going from the treatment phase to “living” again. My experience & his are identical with the exception of the anger. I never got angry about getting or having to battle cancer. So I couldn’t relate to that part of the book but otherwise it was really good. It helped me to see that what I am currently experiencing is normal. In the scheme of things, I am in Chapter 8 – Survivorship and there are 10 or 11 chapters. I have a way to go but am dealing with everything a little better now. I didn’t realize this STUFF is quite normal for a person in my situation. I am no longer searching for answers to the questions above. But this type of stuff has been at the forefront of my thinking.