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Anticipation & Fear

April 21, 2006

The weeks prior to surgery were hard.  I did work some to keep my mind occupied.  I found it helped to keep my thinking on normal, every day things and not the UNKNOWN.

One task that needed to be done, was coming off the pain patch I had been using.  Dr. Weber didn’t want me on that strong narcotic for surgery.  I was given lower dose pain patches & pills to help this process.  Thru this, I learned what “withdrawal” is all about.  I experienced some of the affects of drug withdrawal.  It was very challenging.

I decided to go to PA for Easter to be with family.  That too was difficult.  I had been in “isolation” for so long & everyone wanted to see me.  It was hard to handle all the activity because of how bad I still felt.  Plus, I was a bag of NERVES.  I was so scared & returned to MD early just to be in my own surroundings.  I went to see Dr. Alonso & she prescribed a mild dose of xanax to get me thru the last 5 days until surgery.  She was surprised I didn’t need it before now.  I share this because everyone needs HELP at times.

Filed Under: My Sarcoma Journey

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